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Senior at the University of Northern Iowa

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Recap of a Rollercoaster

I never thought I would see a year full of excitement, sorrow, joy, and anguish all in one. I never thought I would see a year that I was able to accomplish many of the goals I had in life. I never thought I'd see a year where so many friends and family passed away. I never thought I'd see a year with so much violence and division. But here we are, as the year 2016 comes to a close. 

This year, I got to go on the trip of a lifetime to Ireland. I was grateful to experience Walt Disney World and my first vacation to Florida. I was fortunate enough to get my FOURTH car from my parents and live through another accident. I was able to receive a bid into a sorority that has changed my perspective on life. I got to live on my own. I finally felt like I was accomplishing things. 

This year I lost my mother, Ginger Kruse. I lost my cousin Larry Voshell. My cousin, Dorothy, lost her husband. Many friends and family experienced anguish, loss, and sorrow. I just couldn't understand why everyone was dying. Why everyone was being diagnosed with cancer or having heart attacks. Why everyone had to experience pain during a year that was supposed to be full of life, second chances, and determination. 

I will never understand why God chose to take my mother away from us at the young age of 60. I will never understand how someone who could fight so hard, whose lung cancer tumor was almost invisible, was taken from us in the blink of an eye. Maybe it was her time, maybe it wasn't. I will never know, but I do know that she passed away peacefully with her friend Linda by her side. I will never get over the phone call I received, while sitting in the passenger seat of my car as Dalton raced us home to Elkader. I will never forget Linda telling me "they did all they could. she's gone".  I will never forget calling my Dad, who was on the road and in Oregon, and hearing him cry and tell me that Shawn and I would have to handle things until he got home. I will never forget having to call my brother to break the news. I will never forget going with my Aunt Karen and Uncle Larry to pick my dad up at the airport in Cedar Rapids, and watching him wipe his eyes as we hugged when he walked out of the gate. I will never forget him kissing my mother on the forehead when he got to see her at the funeral home. I will never forget my big diamond sister, Kennedy Elliott, coming to my mother's funeral. We had only known each other for a month and had barely hung out. She didn't even know my mom. But she was there. 

I am doing good. I am very different at handling my emotions than others. I cried a few times during the week I was home for my mother's funeral, but aside from that I have held it together very well. I immediately had to come back to school, work, and sorority activities. I feel that having this stability and structure in my life helped me to not think about it because I stayed busy. There were times when I was sitting at home with nothing to do, and I would annoy Dalton to keep my mind off of my mother. But that was a month ago. This month, I am more than happy to look at her Facebook profile, which has been memorialized, and laugh at the stupid photos I tagged her in. I am more than happy to talk with everyone about her, especially Cindy Cook because lord knows she has some great stories. 

2017 is going to be a bigger and better year. Hopefully there will be less loss in my family and everyone's family. There should be more happiness and more humble moments. There should be life and presence...and presents. Each day is a gift. Use it wisely. 

Monday, September 12, 2016

EEK!

Hello everyone!

We are now almost a month into the school year, and it's easy to say that a lot has changed. This summer was not the greatest on record, I will admit. And instead of really directly explaining it all, I'll just list it to be short and sweet (well, I'll explain some stuff). 

1. I got in a car accident in May and totaled my Chevy Aveo. Now, I drive a Mazda3 with personalized license plates. You'll know when you see me.

2. I got to go to Florida with the Follon family. We went to Daytona Beach, Walt Disney World, and a bunch of other fabulous places. It was a great experience and I'm so fortunate to feel like a part of their family. 

3. My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer in late July. They had found a 4-inch tumor in her left lung that had deteriorated and completely taken away one of her ribs. She did radiation treatments for a couple weeks in August and tomorrow (September 13th) she has surgery to get a port put in for chemotherapy administration. 

4. I sprained my ankle while at Maquoketa Caves. I didn't even do anything cool to do it. I just walked down a gentle incline, and the goal was to look out over the park from a rock ledge. Instead, I just kind of rolled my foot awkwardly and BAM! Wounded. Couldn't walk, wasn't fun. 1/10 just because Dalton attempted to ice my foot with an ice cream sandwich. But I still wouldn't recommend. 

5. I decided not to be involved with Women's Chorus (at least for this semester). I kind of thought of it as a hefty time commitment on top of having two jobs and school work. I am, at the minimum, taking this semester to see if I like not being in it.

6. As most of you saw yesterday, I received a bid to join Alpha Delta Pi, a sorority at UNI. I spent this entire week going through formal recruitment, which included house tours, philanthropy rounds, and lots of makeup and effort. For those of you who know me, I live in t-shirts and athletic shorts with like, mascara if I'm really feeling it. So this week was a challenge. But I gladly accepted the invitation and I am very excited to be joining the first and finest secret society for women! Also I do not know what possessed me to go through recruitment as a junior, or at all, but here I am and I'm positive that with time, it will be a unexplainable experience. 

7. I am planning on doing Dance Marathon again this year! I took last year off to raise money for our Ireland trip instead, because I didn't want to be asking for too much. 

So yeah, the summer could've probably gone better. But I am excited for this school year and all the new experiences it will bring for not only me, but all our Panther students!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

i tell you hwat

Well, well, well.

I just thought I would take this opportunity of free time that I have to bring all you people who click this link on my Facebook wall up to speed on what is going on in my life. I'm not one to really share my personal details with anyone anymore, except my mother. But I thought, hey, people are going to ask me about it and so I might as well just throw it out here in a blog post.

For starters, I no longer live in a residence hall on campus at UNI. The last weekend in March, I moved off campus and moved into a house with my boyfriend and three other stellar people. Yes, I have only been dating my boyfriend for six months. Everyone's relationships are different and progress at different times. You may feel comfortable waiting until you've been dating a year or longer, but I felt comfortable now. So far, it has been great, and I've grateful for the nerf gun wars that have been happening between Dalton, Devon, Eric, and I. It is very nice to be off campus, even if I have to commute every day. I feel better having my own shower instead of a community shower, sleeping in a bed that isn't six feet off the ground and twin-sized, and having a garage to park my car in. 

With the "moving off campus" topic comes the question: why did I decide to move off campus? While I could think of a million different ways to tell you why I did, I will keep it short and simple. My roommate and I were having many disagreements to the point where we didn't talk much anymore, nor really acknowledge each other's presence when we were in our room. I had the opportunity to move out, and I took it. I do not regret it one bit. I love living where I am living now, and would do it again in a heartbeat. Not to mention I don't have to hear girls screaming after 10 p.m.

Moving on from that awkward topic, I also wanted to let you all know about the great opportunity I have coming up in May. I will be spending the month of May being an intern at the Clayton County Sheriff's Office. Chief Deputy Steve Holst emailed me my tentative schedule today, and it looks like I will be alternating my time between riding with deputies and chilling in the jail and dispatch room. I'm also in for a couple shifts until 4 a.m., so that should prove to be one heck of a time. I am very excited to step into the world of law enforcement, and feel it will be a step in the right direction for my career. During my internship, I will be living at home on the farm. When my internship is completed, I will be moving back to Cedar Falls for the summer and working at Menards (if you didn't already know, I am a cashier). 

As for now, I will be heading to Ames tomorrow to spend the weekend with Tara Follon and Keaton Lane. I will be seeing the musical The Secret Garden on Saturday night, which Keaton is in. I am looking forward to a weekend of catching up and being stupid. 

Monday, March 21, 2016

Ireland!

Hello you lovely readers of mine! I am more tired than I have been in a while, and it's all thanks to a little friend I like to call jet lag. Right now, it would be around 1:30 a.m. in Ireland, which I have gotten used to after a week of being there. I just wanted to take this moment while my laundry finishes drying to tell you all a little information from my trip that you didn't get to see from the photos I uploaded to Facebook!

For anyone thinking about traveling, I very much recommend visiting Ireland. We flew out of Chicago around 4:30 on March 12, and arrived in Frankfurt, Germany, at 7:30 a.m. their time, which would be around 1:30 a.m. here in Iowa. We had a few hours to kill before our next flight left around 11:30, which was straight to Dublin. When we arrived in Dublin, we went through customs and got onto a charter bus, which was driven by a man named Pat and accompanied by a tour guide named Brian, both of which were with us our entire stay. Pat was more on the quiet side, but Brian was very lovely and full of historical information about the country. We went directly from the airport all through the countryside, which took around two and a half hours. On our way to the Cliffs of Moher, we went through a little village that was the home of President Barack Obama's eighth cousin. The village, which is almost completely empty, has a truck plaza named Barack Obama Plaza, where we stopped to use the restroom and exchange our money into Euros. While we were there, an Irish gentleman who was not sober by the name of Darnish (or something similar) came onto our tour bus, told some girls they were pretty, etc etc., took a UNI flag someone had brought with them and got off the bus. Our tour guide, Brian, got off the bus, told the man to give the flag back, and he was hesitant but finally gave it back after giving Brian a hug. When we got to the Cliffs of Moher, it was so breathtaking. The sea was a very dark blue color and the greenery and sky was just perfect. It was a little windy and cold, but nothing we couldn't handle knowing the everyday conditions of campus here at UNI. When we finished with the Cliffs, we had supper at a random hotel and had a few more hours on the bus before arriving at our hotel in Killarney.
Hanging out at the Cliffs of Moher. I give it a thumbs up.

On Monday, March 14,  we took a tour by bus around the Ring of Kerry, which is basically a highway that goes through the Kerry Mountains. We saw a lot of sheep, lakes, and amazing views. We also went through a very old stone tunnel while driving back to Killarney. When we got to town, we did some shopping before we went off to eat dinner at the hotel. When we finished with that, we had a concert at St. Mary's Church in Killarney. We shared our concert with a high school group from Florida, and their director was actually a friend of our director. The concert went well, and we returned to the hotel for some much needed sleep.
Jessica and I at a stop on the Ring of Kerry.

On Tuesday, March 15, we visited the Blarney Castle. It was very cold, and we waited in line for approximately an hour. We were stuck behind some of the kids from that high school group we sang with, and one of them kept making stupid comments about everything. For example, "That light is original to the castle. It's like 17,000 years old". The view from the top of the castle was awesome, and even though I could've, I did not partake in kissing the Blarney Stone, just because 1) Ginger Kruse told me people pee on it, and 2) I've had a lung infection for a week, which was just diagnosed today.
Jessica kissing the Blarney Stone.
After viewing the castle, we ventured to Waterford, where we toured the Waterford Glass visitors center and got to see how the famous crystal is made. We saw where they mold it, where they etch it, polish it, and everything in between. When we finished the tour, we went to the Waterford Crystal store and I purchased a vase for my mother, since she so graciously asked for one before I left (or should I say, ordered me to bring her one). LOL. When we finished shopping there, we had a walking tour of the city where we saw old churches, got stories about the vikings, and I took a selfie with a pigeon. We returned to the hotel for dinner and sleep later that night. A bunch of us also went out to pubs that evening, and this is when I found out I didn't like Guinness. When we finished at the pubs, I was eager to get some pizza and so was Regina. We found a pizza shop that was open until 4:00 a.m. and I ordered some cheese pizza and garlic bread. In a series of unfortunate events, someone took my pizza by mistake, and so the cooks had to make a completely new one. But it was worth it. The pizza was gooey and good, and of course the garlic bread was on point. Garlic bread always is.

On Wednesday, March 16, we had a tour of Kilkenny Castle, which had very ornate victorian era architecture. Although almost all of the pieces in the original castle were auctioned off in the 1950s, there were still a few family heirlooms that stuck around. I'm sure my mother would've enjoyed it very much. We had the afternoon after the tour at leisure to shop and eat, and so we went to a restaurant called Left Bank. This building used to be an actual bank before the recession in Ireland took place, and so it was closed down during the recession and made into a restaurant. I, personally, did not find anything on the menu to be appetizing, so I just ordered a scone. And it was a damn good scone. We had a concert later that night at Christ Church Cathedral in Waterford, which was about an hour drive from Kilkenny.

On Thursday, March 17, we traveled to Glendalough and toured the monastic sites established in the 6th century. There were many structures still standing, and one of the things I loved seeing the most was the cemetery on the land. When we were finished visiting there, we traveled to Bray and took part in the Bray St. Patrick's Day parade. There were children spraying silly string the entire parade, so you can imagine how much lime green string I picked off of my jacket as we walked on the parade route. When we finished, we took a group photo by the ocean and then sang a set of songs on the stairs of a restaurant called Barracuda. We ventured to our hotel in Dublin later that night and went out for drinks at a local pub to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. I ordered a Strawberry Daiquiri, as I had been all week since the Guinness incident, and it had to have been 90% artificial flavoring. It was very tart and disgusting, but I managed to get through it. I got so tired while we were there that I was doing a word find on my phone to keep me awake. I am definitely the life of the party.
University of Northern Iowa Women's Chorus on the Beach in Bray, Ireland.
On Friday, March 18, we had a morning tour of Dublin where we visited Trinity College and got to see the Book of Kells, as well as this awesome library they had on campus. At 12:30 p.m., we had our final concert in St. Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin. The acoustics were great and the cathedral was just beautiful. After that, we had an hour or so to ourselves around town before we met up at 3:20 to tour Dublin Castle. While we were out and about, I kind of veered away from the group without telling anyone where I was going and got a tattoo of a fox on my wrist. I was late getting to the castle, and everyone was freaking out about it (especially Niccole Giberson) but I made it there before our choir director did, so everything was good! This castle was also beautiful and we got to see a river that flows completely underground as we toured it. That night we went to a restaurant called Merry Ploughboys pub, where we enjoyed dinner and an awesome show by the featured band, the Merry Ploughboys. They are awesome, by the way! In between their set, there were some Irish dancers on stage, and they were also awesome! Man, this trip was amazing.
Library at Trinity College, Dublin.

My fox tattoo!

Saturday, March 19th we woke up and got on a plane to Munich, Germany, around 11:30 a.m. I slept most of that flight. When we arrived in Munich, we had about twenty minutes to spare before our plane to Chicago started boarding. We were all freaking out, because we still had to get our entire group of 45ish people through security. However, some strings were pulled and all our passports were stamped so that we would not have to go through security. Apparently I almost didn't pass as the same person on my passport, though, because the guy checking it had to do a double take before he let me through. I swear I just cut my hair!

We arrived home to Cedar Falls at 2:30 a.m. Sunday morning. I woke up around 11:30, and worked a six hour shift from two to eight at Menards. I'm not sure how I stayed awake, but I made it. Although I enjoyed Ireland very much, despite being ill, I am happy to be home, where I don't have to constantly eat chicken and ham, and I can get my Culver's fix. I'm also happy because I can call my Mom to bother her whenever I want, as well as see Dalton.

P.S. Mom, I didn't break your vase while traveling home. You're so lucky.

If anyone wants to hear about the trip, I will gladly reiterate this blog post to you in person! It was an amazing experience to be able to share with the University of Northern Iowa Women's Chorus. I've made so many new friends this week, and gotten closer to those I already had.

Have a lovely night!

Saturday, January 2, 2016

New Year, New Me? Eh, Maybe.

Hello, and welcome to the already fabulous year that is two-thousand and sixteen. I'm not your host (I can't play God), but I am my own guide through the events that are to come in the next 364 days. As if that sentence couldn't sound anymore like a game show. My year has been off to a slow and rather dull start. I screamed several times at the television this afternoon, watching the Iowa Hawkeyes make mistakes, which of course, could happen to anyone. I'm just grateful that they got the chance to play in the Rose Bowl at all. After the screaming commenced, I just laid around on Tara's couch on my phone for several hours, somewhere in there we got ice cream, and I came home. And here I am, lounging in my bed, trying to throw together some unofficial New Year's resolutions that I'm bound to give up by the end of next week.

My major goals for this year are to get my finances in line and get into shape (or at least more than what I am currently). I am going to start the finance path off by handing my Victoria's Secret credit card and my debit card over to someone more responsible to handle them. No, I don't mean I'm giving them away free to a good home. What I mean is that I will have someone hang onto them for me, and in the event that I think I "need" them, they can make the call on whether or not I get it back. I have found that having my debit card at my disposal constantly only makes it easier for me to go to Taco Bell, Culver's and Kwik Star for unnecessary food, instead of eating at the dining center, which I am paying for. The Victoria's Secret card is self-explanatory as to why I need that taken away. Hopefully by taking these steps, I will show myself how much money I could actually be saving, and when I eventually get my cards back, I will not have such an impulse to use them as I did before.

The other goal, exercise, has been a long time coming. I'm not necessarily overweight by any means, but I did gain 10 pounds since I came home for Christmas Break. I get winded climbing stairs, and sometimes I just don't feel healthy (mostly because I eat junk food a lot). Since my career goal is to become a police officer, I am going to have physical fitness standards to meet. Currently, I would not be able to do more than two pushups or even run a mile in a somewhat decent time. But my goal is to be able to strengthen my body all-around so that I can at least meet some new PRs and feel great about what I am doing. In order to make sure that I actually go to the Wellness Center on campus to work out, I have created a weekly schedule that I will follow rigorously, that has every hour of my weekdays planned out. I am going to exercise on Tuesdays and Thursdays this semester, since I have a class in the WRC and will be done right when the upstairs gym opens up.

I hope that whatever goals you have set for yourself this year, that you live up to the expectations and meet them! It's always good to feel good and reach your goals :) Have a safe, happy, and healthy 2016.